I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling pretty overwhelmed lately.
With my husband and kids being home 24/7, new information to sift through, and the day-by-day (sometimes hour-by-hour) planning because of the constant changes…
it’s made my head spin.
My head might be spinning, but here is what you won't find me doing:
I’m not going to blame or wish things were different.
It won't make me feel better nor will it help me make wiser choices.
I refuse to indulge in it.
Rather, I want to focus on my current circumstance (things I can not change) and what I do have control or influence over.
Here is my present situation:
3 kids at home. A husband working at home. An extra office space set up on our dining room table. Snow outside. Plenty of food in our fridge. My mom still living with us and available to help. Bins, draws and shelves full of craft projects. A sewing machine with dust on it. A house...
I remember being TERRIFIED my first day of clinical practice for nursing school.
When I say terrified, I mean literally I wanted to throw up. Lucky for me, I have a strong gag reflex.
I remember it as such an out of body experience. I could hear my head screaming, “This is crazy! You don’t know what you’re doing!” and feeling paralyzed. But yet I could still manage to get my body to move somehow.
At the time I didn't understand this, but the fear came from all these thoughts that I would do it wrong, it wouldn’t work and I’d never become a nurse.
It really all boiled down to one thought:
“You will fail. Then you will be a failure.”
In the end I didn't fail. I mean I did some, but I learned from it.
I figured it out.
I didn’t let my crazy thoughts take over and I graduated nursing school. I got a job. I worked for 10 years as a RN. I never became...
A lot has been covered the last couple of weeks.
If you haven't been following along, the last 4 blog posts have been focused on self-confidence.
First, I talked about why self-confidence important and what it has to do with God. Find that blog here.
Then I dove into how to build self-confidence. First was building trust in yourself by following through. Check it out here.
Next was having a great opinion about yourself. Get it here.
Last, was letting go of what other people think about you. Read it here.
One thing I want to note, it is much easier to have someone to walk with you on this journey to gaining self-confidence. That is why I have a coach. Having someone there to help you see what you are blinded to in that moment is priceless.
Now, let me give you the best piece of advice that I was ever given around self-confidence.
TREAT YOURSELF LIKE YOU ARE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND.
I’m going to share a...
Let’s imagine something.
What if you never feared what other people thought about you?
What if you had no problem with anyone judging you?
What if you were totally OK with them being wrong about you?
What if you took all criticism and negative remarks about you and learned from them?
How would you feel?
How would you act?
Who would you be?
Really think about this. Give yourself a couple of minutes to jot a couple things down.
Here is what I came up with.
I would be confident in who God made me and the abilities He...
Let’s dive in.
Maybe I shouldn't just get started. I should probably grab your attention better.
Ugh. I’m no good at this.
I’m no good at any of this.
This never comes easy for me. I should just give up.
I could always go back to nursing.
Maybe I’m better suited for that. But, I’m not really that good at being a nurse either. It’s just all a struggle for me. I’m probably not destined to be good at anything. I’m just here… taking up air.
And that is what goes through my brain when I don’t manage my thoughts. When I choose to run with the enemy’s lies instead of choosing the Spirit’s.
When I walk down this road, I deteriorate any self-confidence I have been building. I stop following through on my commitments and I start to hide or avoid the outside world.
I start proving the enemy’s lies true... that I'm just here, taking up air.
“I want to fast until noon, eat only vegetables and get an hour of exercise in daily.”
This is the type of answer I often get when I ask people what goals they are currently working on.
I am not exaggerating either.
Last week’s blog post I told you about one of the MOST important thing I think most Christian women are lacking:
You can find that post here. You don’t have to read that post before reading this one, but it will help with making this post have more of an impact.
If you questioned how to start building self-confidence after reading last week’s post, I’ve got you. That’s what we are going to start talking about today and over the next couple of weeks. I want to give you practical steps as to how to start building your self-confidence muscle so you can show up as your God given self even better.
Let’s start with the first step!
Building self-confidence is all...
I was soooooo jealous in high school.
Seriously. I was a mess.
Honestly, I can’t even say it was just high school. It followed me well into college and a little beyond.
I was especially jealous of a particular breed of girls.
These girls weren’t usually what other would call the “prettiest”. They weren’t the smartest either.
The girls that I was jealous of were the ones that could go up and talk to any male and not even bat an eye. The ones that would stand up in front of the class and give a quick talk totally skipping the part where their hands shake and voice cracks. The ones that could hop out on the dance floor and have the time of their life without any liquid courage.
You know those girls, right?
They had what I wanted so badly….
I look back and wish I could have given the gift of self-confidence to myself back then.
I wish I could have given myself what I know and have now.
Last week, I hope you took away a few things from the blog post.
I want to give you some step by step instructions on how I stop the downhill slide of self-destruction.
To do this, I’m going to talk about how I followed through on the goal to write one blog post a week for a whole year. How I managed not to self-sabotage and quit.
I hate writing. I’ve never thought of myself as a good writer. Since I don’t think of myself as a good writer, I gave up trying to get better. I find no fun in it and it is a struggle to get me to write ANYTHING.
Here in lies the first key to stopping self-sabotage; knowing your opinions about yourself and the activity.
STOP telling yourself you're not good at "it". STOP finding all reasons you don't like "it".
Can we celebrate for a minute?
THIS IS MY 53rd BLOG POST!
That means I have writing to you all for over a year now!
Three years ago, you never would have got me to believe that I would write that many posts! Even a year ago, I would have told you,
“Yeah, right. No way will I do that posts many in a row. I hate writing.”
I would have said that because I knew I was really good at sabotaging myself. Actually, I still am good at it. When I don’t see the results right away, when things get kind of hard, when I don’t believe I’m good at it, when I don’t quite reach my goals…
Then, I think something is wrong with me. That I’m the only one that can’t follow through. That I'm not good at anything. That it must just be easier for those “other” people.
But those are all lies.
We all struggle.
And we ALL sabotage ourselves. ...
Things were just getting good, becoming easier…
Then I started over-eating again.
What is wrong with me? Why is this so hard?
This was me about 2 years ago. A lot of times people ask me about how I became a coach.
Let me tell you a little story about that.
I had a deep desire to be thin. I would get to a healthy weight, but then it seemed like a week later I was putting the pounds back on.
It's like I got to this goal and then I fell back into my old patterns. Then my actions did not fall in line with what I said I wanted.
Since, I seem to continue to sabotage myself, I thought something was wrong with me. I thought this may just be my struggle forever.
Until I realized something. God didn’t NOT want me to struggle forever. He wanted me to conquer, WITH HIM.
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37
See, for so long I was just focused on the food, the exercise,...