You’re not selfish unless you’re NOT taking care of yourself.

Or the proper way to put it, you’re selfish if you’re NOT caring for you. 

It’s UNSELFISH to take care of you.

Yes, you read that right.

I think when we don’t care for our minds, our temples, our health, our safety, our faith...

That’s when we become the most selfish people.

Why do I think this?

Let me explain. 

But first, hear me out. I’m a selfish person.  I consistently ask for forgiveness for my self-seeking desires.  I am not here to judge or convict.  I am writing this post to serve, to bring some loving-honesty.

Here is part of the definition of selfish (adj); concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.

Why do you overeat?  

One of the main reasons: to make yourself feel better in the moment. We are concerned with our pleasure.

We overeat to escape, check out of this world, feel better short...

Want to know something fun?

HAVING FUN!

I came to the realization the other day… I don’t have that much fun.

• There are all these big goals I’m working towards.
• There are a lot of fights and squabbles between my kids.
• There is a chaotic pandemic going on.
• There are some serious issues that need to be addressed.

I use these all as excuses to stay in a serious, un-fun mood.

God gives us warning against this though.

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:13

Now don’t get me wrong.  I don’t think we can have fun all the time. If we didn’t have the boring, mundane, or frustrating we wouldn’t know what fun is.

But, being happy, having joy, both of these are good for the spirit.

Since having fun doesn’t come “naturally” to me, I decided to make a list of joyful things I could...

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling pretty overwhelmed lately.

With my husband and kids being home 24/7, new information to sift through, and the day-by-day (sometimes hour-by-hour) planning because of the constant changes…

it’s made my head spin.

My head might be spinning, but here is what you won't find me doing:

I’m not going to blame or wish things were different.

It won't make me feel better nor will it help me make wiser choices. 

I refuse to indulge in it.

Rather, I want to focus on my current circumstance (things I can not change) and what I do have control or influence over.

Here is my present situation:

3 kids at home.  A husband working at home.  An extra office space set up on our dining room table.  Snow outside.  Plenty of food in our fridge.  My mom still living with us and available to help. Bins, draws and shelves full of craft projects. A sewing machine with dust on it.  A house...

I remember being TERRIFIED my first day of clinical practice for nursing school. 

When I say terrified, I mean literally I wanted to throw up.  Lucky for me, I have a strong gag reflex.

I remember it as such an out of body experience.  I could hear my head screaming, “This is crazy!  You don’t know what you’re doing!”  and feeling paralyzed. But yet I could still manage to get my body to move somehow.

At the time I didn't understand this, but the fear came from all these thoughts that I would do it wrong, it wouldn’t work and I’d never become a nurse. 

It really all boiled down to one thought:

“You will fail.  Then you will be a failure.”

In the end I didn't fail.  I mean I did some, but I learned from it.

I figured it out. 

I didn’t let my crazy thoughts take over and I graduated nursing school.  I got a job.  I worked for 10 years as a RN.  I never became...

OK friends.

A lot has been covered the last couple of weeks.

If you haven't been following along, the last 4 blog posts have been focused on self-confidence.

First, I talked about why self-confidence important and what it has to do with God. Find that blog here. 

Then I dove into how to build self-confidence.  First was building trust in yourself by following through.  Check it out here. 

Next was having a great opinion about yourself. Get it here.

Last, was letting go of what other people think about you.  Read it here.

One thing I want to note, it is much easier to have someone to walk with you on this journey to gaining self-confidence.  That is why I have a coach.  Having someone there to help you see what you are blinded to in that moment is priceless. 

Now, let me give you the best piece of advice that I was ever given around self-confidence.

TREAT YOURSELF LIKE YOU ARE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND.

I’m going to share a...

Let’s imagine something.

What if you never feared what other people thought about you?

What if you had no problem with anyone judging you?

What if you were totally OK with them being wrong about you?

What if you took all criticism and negative remarks about you and learned from them?

How would you feel?

How would you act? 

Who would you be?

Really think about this.  Give yourself a couple of minutes to jot a couple things down.

Here is what I came up with.

• I would be more honest.  Honest about my likes and dislikes.  Honest about how I viewed the world. 
• I would take more time and slow down. 
• I would walk with my head held high and my shoulders back.
• More of my time would be spent focusing on my savior, Jesus Christ; praying, learning and teaching. 
• I would be happier and feel freer. 
• I would gain time to focus rather than spinning in doubt.

I would be confident in who God made me and the abilities He...

Let’s dive in.

No wait.

Maybe I shouldn't just get started.  I should probably grab your attention better. 

Ugh.  I’m no good at this.

I’m no good at any of this.

This never comes easy for me.  I should just give up.

I could always go back to nursing.

Maybe I’m better suited for that.  But, I’m not really that good at being a nurse either.  It’s just all a struggle for me.  I’m probably not destined to be good at anything.  I’m just here… taking up air.

And that is what goes through my brain when I don’t manage my thoughts.  When I choose to run with the enemy’s lies instead of choosing the Spirit’s.

When I walk down this road, I deteriorate any self-confidence I have been building.  I stop following through on my commitments and I start to hide or avoid the outside world.

I start proving the enemy’s lies true... that I'm just here, taking up air.

...

“I want to fast until noon, eat only vegetables and get an hour of exercise in daily.”

This is the type of answer I often get when I ask people what goals they are currently working on.

I am not exaggerating either.

Last week’s blog post I told you about one of the MOST important thing I think most Christian women are lacking:

SELF-CONFIDENCE

You can find that post here.  You don’t have to read that post before reading this one, but it will help with making this post have more of an impact.

If you questioned how to start building self-confidence after reading last week’s post, I’ve got you.  That’s what we are going to start talking about today and over the next couple of weeks. I want to give you practical steps as to how to start building your self-confidence muscle so you can show up as your God given self even better.

Let’s start with the first step!

Building self-confidence is all...

I was soooooo jealous in high school.

Seriously.  I was a mess.

Honestly, I can’t even say it was just high school.  It followed me well into college and a little beyond.

I was especially jealous of a particular breed of girls.

These girls weren’t usually what other would call the “prettiest”. They weren’t the smartest either.

Nope.

The girls that I was jealous of were the ones that could go up and talk to any male and not even bat an eye.  The ones that would stand up in front of the class and give a quick talk totally skipping the part where their hands shake and voice cracks.  The ones that could hop out on the dance floor and have the time of their life without any liquid courage.

You know those girls, right?

They had what I wanted so badly….

SELF-CONFIDENCE

I look back and wish I could have given the gift of self-confidence to myself back then. 

I wish I could have given myself what I know and have now.

 ...

Last week, I hope you took away a few things from the blog post. 

1. We all self-sabotage in some area of our life.
2. We can choose not self-sabotage, and align with God’s truths to fight the enemy’s attacks.

I want to give you some step by step instructions on how I stop the downhill slide of self-destruction.

To do this, I’m going to talk about how I followed through on the goal to write one blog post a week for a whole year.  How I managed not to self-sabotage and quit.

I hate writing.  I’ve never thought of myself as a good writer.  Since I don’t think of myself as a good writer, I gave up trying to get better.  I find no fun in it and it is a struggle to get me to write ANYTHING.

Here in lies the first key to stopping self-sabotage; knowing your opinions about yourself and the activity.

STOP telling yourself you're not good at "it". STOP finding all reasons you don't like "it". 

It's...