How to Stop Self-Sabotage Before it Starts
Can I just say, my clients, are amazing?! They have done some pretty spectacular things. All of them.
Not just a few.
Every. Single. One.
But "watching" my clients' self-sabotage, at times, is so PAINFUL for me. I just want to shake them awake. I wish I could just infuse them with the confidence I have for them.
I know they have to experience their own journey. I get that.
I understand I can't make decisions for them. But it's excruciating. It's like nails on a chalkboard. I know I can't control their actions (which really is a good thing; I get this), so now I use their lessons to help teach others.
It is a beautiful thing about how God can use anything to his glory!
So, let me cut to the chase here. I can tell when self-sabotage is coming for my clients. I want to share what I know with you. This way, you can be on the watch for your own self-sabotage and hopefully not fall into this trap the enemy is so good at catching people in.
Here is how I know my clients are either currently self-sabotaging or that it's coming...
They expect things SHOULD be different than how they are.
It sounds something like this…
"I should be able to do this by now."
"I should be able to do this on my own."
"It should be easier."
"This should work for me, but it doesn't."
The enemy is so crafty. He is so good at disguising deception as truth. Because that is how it will feel. It will feel like these are just true statements. And you'll go looking for PROOF that you're right.
Example: You tell yourself, "I should be able to walk away when I'm satisfied by now. I'm six weeks into this." Then you look around at all the people that can walk away from dinner with food on their plates. You look at all your past attempts that have failed.
From this deception, the enemy has you right where he wants you. He has you make the WORST decisions for yourself.
You will……
- Wallow in self-pity.
- Beat and shame yourself
- Blame your family for wanting and buying all your food triggers
- Find shiny, new diets to follow, exercises to try or the latest book to read
- Compare yourself to your "skinny" friends and despair about how it's not fair
- Continually eat things you hadn't planned or overeat
- You will hide from the people who could give you the hard truth and tell you precisely what you are doing to yourself (MOST IMPORTANT)
It all comes from what you think. That you think things SHOULD be different than how they are.
That thinking, that belief will STOP you from losing weight.
It will stop you from getting healthy.
It will stop you from having a better future than your past.
As a coach, I can see the bigger picture. But my clients, they're walking in the weeds. They are focused on all the things that they can't change, all the things that are going wrong, and all the ways it's just not meant for them.
But I know if I can help them get out the weeds, they will be back on track.
They will get back on track by embracing and accepting your current situation, learning from it, and then keep taking small steps to move forward.
Because here is the big picture. This is just one stumbling block of many. It is the perfect obstacle to help you overcome the next and the next. Each obstacle you overcome, you get better at overcoming them, and you BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE. That confidence is not only in yourself but also in God's GOOD PLAN.
Here is what breaks my heart, so many of you don't have anyone to pull you out of the weeds.
You get sooooo close. You've been doing the work, making changes. You're building your confidence. Then, one obstacle gets in your way, and you QUIT. You give up.
More often than not, that obstacle is YOU and what YOU decide to believe. It's you, using your free will to believe the enemy's deception.
I want you to really think about these phrases, do you think they come from truth or deception?
- I should be able to do this by now.
- I should be able to do this on my own.
- It should be easier.
- This should work for me, but it doesn't.
What do you think? Do these bring life?
No, they don't.
"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly." John 10:10
Don't be deceived any longer. Right now, is EXACTLY how it SHOULD be.
How do we know? Because you're living it right now. God gave you this moment for a reason.
And, whatever you think "should" be happening, really shouldn't be. You weren't meant to get on the scale this morning and see it go down. You weren't meant to run that 5K. There are GOOD REASONS for this. You may not be able to find them right at this moment, but you will.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 28:8
So cut the "should". Embrace and accept the current. Learn from it. Then take a small step forward.
I like to remind you that you are a whole, wonderful creation of God that has a plan for your life (Jer. 29:11). And a GOOD plan at that.
If you find yourself arguing about what "should" be, lets talk. I really don't want you to get stuck in the trap of self-sabotage. Sign up for a free consultation with me HERE.
