Brand new year.
Brand new you?
You want to... lose 50 lbs, exercise 30 minutes a day, clean out the basement, re-decorate the living room, volunteer an hour each week at church, add that extra project at work, stop fighting with your husband, spend 5 hours with the kids each day, bring a home cooked meal to church member each week, learn how to play the guitar, and schedule a date nights with your friends each month....
And you're going to figure out how to do this things in the next two weeks.
Real life starts to happen. School starts up again, work gets stressful, kids become sick and the credit card bill from December is due.
Forget the goals. Those seem way more stressful than the life you currently have.
You’re not alone in this.
So many of us do this. Not only do we have to many goals at once, but we also have REALLY big goals.
Let me tell you about last year. I started the year with not only a lot of goals but also a REALLY big goal. I had a goal to make more money than I did the year before BUT in only 3 months time. This wasn’t necessarily a bad goal, it just wasn’t helpful.
Here is the definition of a goal according to Merriam-Webster: the end to which effort is directed. If you look at that definition, there is two parts; the end and the effort.
I thought up the end. But I didn’t create the effort.
The real question is... Why?
The end that I created was impossible in my mind. I TOLD myself it was possible. But, deep down, I didn’t BELIEVE it was possible.
That’s where I got stuck.
See, what we tell ourselves is important. What we tell ourselves creates a feeling. What action we take (or don’t take) are dependent on how we think it will make us feel (or not feel).
Going back to the beginning of last year, I felt anxiety with my goal. It just seem to big, too much. And I HATE feeling anxious. So, what did I do?
I avoided. I avoided taking all the actions that would have resulted in me achieving my goals. I avoided even thinking about exactly what I had to do to get to my goal.
It wasn’t until I re-wrote my goal that things changed. I’ll tell you more about that in a minute.
Let’s talk about you now.
What is your goal? What are you aiming for? What end do you want?
Lose 50 lbs? Have a stellar marriage? Stop yelling at your kids?
All great goals. I love these. I help my clients with these things every day. But, ask yourself something…
How long have you had these goals and never achieved them?
If you said yes to either one of those, then you need to go back to your goal and possibly re-think it. You’ll know you’ll need to re-think it if it’s not creating feelings of commitment, dedication, determination, focus or possibly excitement.
Here is what I did with my goal. Around September, I realized this goal was creating anxiety. I knew that I needed to feel determined not anxious. That’s when I came to the conclusion, instead of focusing on money (Which I figured out was why I was feeling anxious. But that is a whole other post...) I needed to focus on reaching people that needed my help.
I made a new goal.
To let God lead me to my next client.
Then it became clear what effort I needed to take every day. I just needed to show up, tell people how I could help them and live out what I coach.
It was a bite size goal. Some would say it isn’t big enough.
That’s exactly how I like it. It was just big enough to stretch me in areas but small enough for me to achieve.
And I did just that. I achieved it. Over and over again until the end of the year. Every time I achieved that goal, it built confidence. Not only in myself, but in God’s plan and trusting Him.
What does this mean for your goal?
You want to lose 50 lbs? How about you start with replacing 3 meals a week with a salad? How does that make you feel?
What to have a stellar marriage? How about you start with planning a fun night each week with your spouse? How does make feel?
Stop yelling at your kids? How about you start with praising your kids each morning? How does that make you feel?
Do you feel committed, determined or excited? Does it stretch you enough to keep you going in the right direction?
Bite size. Attainable. Actionable.
Easy but still a gentle stretch that moves you forward.
Do it enough and you’ll be at the end in now time.
Are you struggling with a goal that feels really big? Feel called to do something in your life but you are overwhelmed by it all? Not a problem. Let’s talk about it. Sign up for a free consultation call with me to start taking action and moving towards that big goal.
Go to https://www.amandakaldor.com/coaching to sign up.