**If you would like to listen to this blog post, scroll to the bottom for the audio version.
So I have been giving you all a little tough love the last couple of weeks with this all this talk of commitment. Today, I just want to give some encouragement and awareness. How does that sound?
Most of my clients come to me and tell me that they are all or none kind of people. They use this trait to explain to me why they haven’t lost weight, why they yell at their kids, why they can’t get their business going and on and on.
I get it. I’ve been there too. I still am some days.
As I am writing this post, I had this commitment to myself that I was going to get all the blog posts for March written by February 28. I am well into March and I’m still writing. I wanted to get them all done and put my focus else where.
When I didn't get this post done by my goal date, my first reaction was to beat myself up. I wanted to be mad at myself. I felt like that would motivate me, but it didn't.
Next, I wanted to quit. Give up. Say forget it.
See, I don’t love writing. I’m working on enjoying it more, but this is a tough one for me. I've never seen myself as a good writer, speaker or really anything having to do with words and thoughts.
You know how hard it is. It's tough getting yourself to do things you don’t particularly like. So, I thought, “Just give up. Nobody is really reading your blog anyway. They won’t even notice.”
That’s when I became alert. My inner alarm went off. The thought “just give up” was the cue that I’m slipping into my all or none thinking.
See, I think all of us have some all or none thinking to varying degrees. I think God gave this to us for a reason. He desires for us to WANT ALL OF HIM and none of satan. But yet again, the evil one has taken something good and twisted it around to use it to try and destroy us.
All or none or black and white thinking can really come in handy sometimes. I find that these thinkers are really hard workers. They get the job done. When a task comes, they get it done well because in their minds they shouldn't wast their time if they’re only going to do it half way. These thinkers are successful until they’re not...
The problem comes when these thinkers “screw up” or have a miss step. All of a sudden, they feel like they haven’t done it all, so they might as well do none now.
But none, in that sense is just quitting. It just giving into the temptation of apathy.
How many times have you said, “Screw it. I doesn’t matter anyway”?
Can you hear yourself saying this?
I know I can. I know I have said it far too many times.
I love using this analogy. It’s a Monday, you wake up late and end up arriving 15 minutes late for work. You walk into work and say to yourself, “Well, I screwed up now. Might as well forget the rest of the week. I guess I’ll try again next Monday…maybe.”
Would you consider doing that in a job?
Yet, we consistently do it in our lives with our commitments.
See a commitment is a all or none kind of stance. BUT THE ACTIONS AREN’T. Commitment is knowing what you will or will not do no matter what does or doesn’t happen. The actions in that commitment are not always going to align together. The commitment just holds you accountable to those actions so that you don’t stray to far from the path.
We’re human. We screw up. We don’t do everything perfect. We have to be able to roll with things and adapt.
So, a screw up happens. Now, look back at your commitment. What are you going to do?
Remember last week I told you when you commit quitting isn’t an option. You know what you’re not going to do when you make a mistake; you’re not going to quit.
But what next?
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, Philippians 3:13
First, FORGET what is behind you, as Paul writes. Keep the past in the past. Stop looking at it and analyzing it. It doesn't mean you don't learn from it. Take a lesson from your screw up and then STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP. It's not doing you any good. If you keep looking at the past and berating yourself about it, you're going to keep repeating it.
Next, double down. Strain towards what is AHEAD. Focus on the future.
Remember the first week, I told you to write WHY you are committing. This is the time you look back at that why. You also look back at those obstacles you wrote down, because you had solutions for them. You press forward and remind yourself you’re not a quitter.
Lastly, even if you don't have everything figured out, God’s got you. He wants to see you succeed. Lean on Him.
May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. Psalm 20:4
Your actions aren’t all or none. Every little step counts. It all adds up.
And then you take the next small step. Pray. Repeat.
See, thinking that you’re all or none is not serving you. Get rid of that statement in your mind. There are only two times you can think all or none; all God and none of satan and all commitment and none of quitting.
If you would love to change your mindset and get some perspective on your all or none thinking, sign up for a FREE 45 minute coaching session with me. Visit my coaching page to sign up!