“If you could just get down to a size 10 or 12 you’d be so drop-dead gorgeous we’d have to beat the guys off you with a baseball bat.” 

A friend shared this statement made to her when she was a young adult.

The person who said this to her was just repeating what she had been told. There had been a long history in this woman’s life of others telling her what the ideal woman should look like. She worked diligently in her own life to fit this expected mold and was naturally passing it along as “helpful” advice to my friend. 

My friend also shared her response to this “helpful” advice. 

“I sat there for a moment, not sure how to respond. Finally, I told her ‘if they don’t want me now - I don’t want them then,’” she shared. “Even though I responded with a lot of confidence, inside I was wondering if she and everyone else thought I was too ugly to be wanted.” 

My...