**If you would like to listen to this blog post, scroll to the bottom for the audio version.
Let’s recap the last four weeks in the series – Six Essentials Every Mom Needs to be the Best Mom for their Kids.
This week, let’s dive into letting go of other people’s opinions.
Letting this go; that’s a hard pill to swallow for a recovering people pleaser like me.
Honestly, a lot of my time was spent unconsciously figuring out how I could get people to like me. I would pretend and twist myself into a mold I thought they would want me to fit. Ultimately, it was lying. The problem with lying, you get caught and eventually realize you don’t even know the truth any more.
This really hit home when my oldest started school. I noticed that she would come home very upset most days. I learned that her “friends” were running away from her and telling her that they didn’t want to be her friend.
Of course, this made me upset. My heart broke because I remember that same thing happening to me when I was in grade school. I wanted to fix it for her, but I knew there was nothing I could do that would fix the situation.
But then she started to change. How she treated her sister, the clothes she picked out, the things she would say… well, they just weren’t her.
Now, I’m sure some of you would say, “That’s just her growing up and changing.” But this didn’t feel right.
Watching her friends, I knew. She was acting just like them. One day, she even admitted that she was acting the way she did because she wanted to fit in. Then she said to me, “But Mom! You do it, too. You don’t act the same way around us as you do around your friends!”
She was totally right. I was sick about it.
I had no idea how to show her, by my example, how to confidently be who she is. That is because I didn’t know how to truly be myself, especially around people I wanted to impress. For so long, I believed that if I fit in with certain people, I would be happy.
But here is the shocker….we have no control over what other people think of us. The truth is, it is NONE of our business either.
It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe. Proverbs 29:25
Your opinion about yourself, that’s your business. Your opinion of yourself should mirror the opinion God has of you. You are worthy of love, grace, kindness, goodness, hope and a future.
Imagine how your life would change if you could truly believe this. So many of us hold ourselves back because of our perceptions of what other people might think of us, or how they might judge us.
And guess what?! It doesn’t matter how you act or what you say; they are still judging you. People will ALWAYS look at you and have opinions about you. There is absolutely nothing YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!
When you try to water yourself down or change who you are to become more interesting to others, you actually become less interesting to yourself. Even if other people like the watered down version of you, you know you are lying. And it really doesn’t feel that good. When we don’t feel good, we don’t act all that “good”. We stop being Christ’s servant and become a servant of others.
Am I saying this now to win the approval of people or God? Am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant. Galatians 1:10
What if we were willing to have people not like us? What if we asked ourselves, “Do I like me?” If you like you, then that is all that is required.
You have to decide whose opinion matters most. You know God’s opinion. So then, I hope you choose your own opinion as the next important.
This topic really is an extension from my post week one, to love yourself. I highly encourage you to go back to this post, and read the tips I have about loving yourself.
Because, if you truly love yourself and see how amazing you are, other’s opinions won’t matter. You have the confidence to go out in this world, be who you were meant to be and parent the way God put you on this earth to parent.
When you shine your light with confidence, your children start to mirror it back. Plus, they feel safe and secure because they know the exact person you are and exactly who will show up for them every single day.
No more guessing which Mom you’ll be today…
Your kids will be blessed and you will be blessed.
And it starts with you. And your opinion of you.
Are you struggling with self-confidence? Do you feel like you are constantly trying to get other to like you but you don't know how to like you? Sign up for a FREE 45-minute coaching session with me for some guidance and insight.