My kids get so excited to share what they received, what they want, and what they are “sure” they are getting next.
Well, this year I know what I want and what I’m getting.
I give it to myself every year now. It is the gift that keeps giving.
It is one of the best gifts I’ve ever received.
I want to share part of the definition of a friend according to Urbandictionary.com:
“A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.”
Learning to love and respect myself has been tough work, but worth it. Now I can trust that what I say I will do; I will follow through.
It goes on to say,
“A friend is someone who not only doesn't care if you're ugly or boring, but doesn't even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don't know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you're being stupid, but who doesn't make you feel stupid.”
I’m lovingly honest with myself and aware that I’m not perfect, nor am I supposed to be. And I am okay with that.
I don’t beat myself up or wish for something different. Now, I give myself grace and encouragement even when I have been stupid.
“A friend is someone who will come with you when you have to do boring things like watch bad recitals, go to stuffy parties, or wait in boring lobbies.”
How many of us can just sit with ourselves even in boring situations? Do you know how to enjoy and entertain yourself without your phone?
I believe this is because we don’t even really enjoy ourselves anymore. We hate having to listen to how we talk to ourselves.
So, what do we do? We distract ourselves with food, social media, Netflix…
“Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God” (Psalm 42:5, 11; 43:5).
We’ve lost how to speak and treat ourselves. David is feeling a lot of discouragement in these verses, but he knows how to lift himself up, like a GOOD FRIEND.
This is how I’ve learned to speak to myself.
Last part that I want to point out,
“A friend is someone for whom you're willing to change your opinions.”
I use to have unrealistically high expectations of myself that I couldn’t meet, and I didn’t even realize it until I intentionally sat down to think about it.
From not meeting those expectations, I would judge myself harshly and unfairly.
I had to let go.
I had to let go of striving for the unpractical. I had to let go of the overly critical thoughts about my weaknesses. I had to change.
Not only for my own wellbeing but my family also.
I’m a MUCH better wife, mom, daughter, sister, and friend to others that I was a few years ago.
So this gift of being a good friend to myself not only gave to me but it gave to so many of those around me.
Take one moment. Think about a friend that makes you feel alive, and encourages you to be better.
I bet you have more excitement and joy for life. I bet you treat your body better. I bet you feel energized and ready for the world.
How about you?
Are you ready to give this gift to yourself?
And I am here to help you follow through.
You know… all those times you’ve tried to change but it never seems to stick. That’s what I am an expert at.