**If you would like to listen to this blog post, scroll to the bottom for the audio version.
The day after Mother’s Day, I get to wrap up this beautiful series I have been writing about for the last six weeks. I wanted to use this blog post today to review, but also to give a few final thoughts that I pray will help you on this crazy, beautiful journey of motherhood.
Let's dive in...
The first essential I discussed is by far the most important in my book.
You can’t truly love others unconditionally, if you don’t love who God made you first.
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37
My best advice. Be your own best friend. Talk to yourself like you would your daughter. And for goodness sake, give yourself some GRACE my friend. Put this into practice and you will find yourself content to be YOU! That contentment will lead to a better attitude.
The next essential was making over your mindset.
There is this crazy phenomenon that happens in our brain called confirmation basis. When we focus on something, our brain goes to work looking for more of what we are focusing on. Example: you are researching to buy a new car and pick one out. Now you see this car everywhere.
This ties directly to mindset. Most people (not just moms) have a very negative mindset. They are focused on the negative. When you focus your brain on the negative, it will search for more of it. I encourage you to actively work at focusing on the positive. It is amazing you guys! Believe me, you will be astonished at how your brain will start zeroing in on more of the positive around you.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8
Essential three was ditch the manuals.
This one is always big for my clients. Stop expecting other people to follow your rules so you can be happy. Expect other people to let you down, never listen, and make a mess. I mean it. You CAN NOT control ANYONE in this world; even your CHILDREN. I know that may be a shocker, but it’s true.
Because, guess what, you don’t know what’s best for them. God does though.
When you stop trying to control everyone around you, you will find true freedom to just love unconditionally. Plus, you will have an overwhelming peace that this is exactly how it is supposed to be.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5
My favorite, essential four was taking care of your temple.
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore, honor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
The Holy Spirit lives in you. Your body is the temple. Honor it. Nourish it. Care for it. Strengthen it. Do these things consistently so that you can truly be the hands and feet of Jesus in this world, especially for your family.
Essential five was letting go of other people’s opinions.
Stop living life to please others. Please God first. Then I hope you see that your opinion is the only one that counts. You can’t control how people think about you (even if you like to think you can). You can be the sweetest peach in the world, but there will be people that still won’t like peaches. So, stop trying to sell them on peaches. Just be you.
It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe. Proverbs 29:25
The last essential in this series….change your perspective.
I find most moms are looking backwards. They are trying to find the justification to move forward by what has happened in the past. It doesn’t work. When you’re looking backwards you’re either veering off the path or heading back the way you came.
Stop recycling past sins and regrets. Get excited about what lies ahead. Make new goals out of those dreams you keep pushing to the back of your mind. Don’t fear the failure to come; it is just a stepping stone to your future. Remember,
Fear, he is a liar
He will take your breath
Stop you in your steps
Fear he is a liar
He will rob your rest
Steal your happiness
Cast your fear in the fire
'Cause fear he is a liar – Lyrics from Fear is a Liar by Zach Williams
Here are my last thoughts I want to leave you with; it all boils down to unconditional love. Every one of these essentials comes down to seeing your worth and loving the beautiful gift of you. You being on this earth means you are worthy, loveable and wonderful.
“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22: 36-40
See, if you love God without conditions (he doesn’t have fit your agenda), you can in turn love yourself without conditions. If you can love yourself without conditions (you don’t have to look, act or be a certain way to be worthy of love), you can in turn love your family unconditionally.
What does loving your family unconditionally look like? It means they don’t have to do anything for you to love them. God just put them on this earth so that YOU can experience the AMAZING, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, AWESOME feeling of love.
The feeling of love isn’t for the person you’re loving. It is for you. The actual feeling, the hormones that are released and that make you feel love, cannot be experienced by the other person. That feeling is for you, my friend. When you feel it, you will act upon it.
So how can you spread around more loving actions, and be the best mom for your kids?
Love yourself as He loves you.
And love your family as you love yourself.
Simple but not always easy.
If you struggle with any of these essentials or would like more guidance, head on over to amandakaldor.com/coaching and sign up for a FREE 45-minute coaching session with me.