I stood in the kitchen staring….
…staring at that container full of cookies.
They are my favorite. Chocolate and peanut butter. I already had one. It wasn’t on my plan for the day. I go for the container and open it. I shove that second cookie down so fast so nobody will know. Nobody will see that I lack the self-control... that self-control I help my clients build daily.
But it doesn’t stop at that one cookie. I think about the chocolates in the pantry. You know, those Lindt truffle ones. My brain is going crazy. “Just have that too. You already have screwed up your plan. Keep going. You’ll get back on the wagon tomorrow.”
That’s when I realize….
I’m sliding down into the pit of self-sabotage.
I’ve been on this journey before. I can see the gaping black hole I'm about to free fall into. It is so tempting to jump.
Maybe I’ll feel better if I just do it this one last time….
Not this time, my friends. No. I don’t jump. I know what that hole brings. I tell myself, “You’ve done this. You’ve been on this ride and hated it. This time, you have decided on something better. Yes, you’ve screwed up, but it will only make you stronger if you stop now.”
And that’s just what I did… last night.
Friends, I am just like you. I can’t tell you how many times I have eaten off of plan, over ate or binged. Too many to count. I understand the mental drama that comes with all of this. Some days, I still live it right here with you.
I thought this story was especially important to talk about this time of year. We’ve wrapped up Halloween. Now comes Thanksgiving that slides right into Christmas. This was the time of year I use to dread. It meant a never-ending smorgasbord of all my favorite foods. Every year, I just gave up. I had tried so many other years to limit my eating that I didn’t even want to deal with the stress of trying any more.
So, for a while I stopped. I gave up my self-control and completely indulged. Then January would roll around and I would sit hating myself and beating myself up for not just trying a little.
This year is different though. I have worked so hard in the last couple of years to really get to the root of the problem.
What is the root you ask?
Every other year I had thoughts like,
“I don’t want to limit myself. It will just make it worse if I limit.”
“I am already indulging so why not keep going.”
“I don’t want to hurt their feelings and not at least try what they made.”
My brain would offer up all these thoughts and so many more that just lead to me eating and completely wiping out the commitments and trust I made with myself.
In the end, it just made life miserable.
You know how when you don’t keep a commitment to a friend and how awful you feel. Well, that is what I was doing to myself. I kept breaking commitments to myself and feeling let-down.
I didn’t really realize it though. Since it was all happening in my head. And most of it was happening subconsciously. I was just following the pattern I always did this time of year.
But I know now. I am really glad I do. Because this year, there will be no self-sabotage. Actually, this year I plan on losing weight during the holidays. I have been consistently losing one pound a month this year. I don’t plan to stop because I “celebrate” Thanksgiving or Christmas.
This year, I’m celebrating in a new way. I am keeping my commitments to myself and I am going to glorify God through it all. This temple is going to be well taken care of. This temple will have its bucket filled so it can fill the buckets around it. It will bear fruit, even during the winter season.
Will you join me, friends? Will you make a commitment this holiday season to take care of the temple God gave you? Will you fill your mind with good things to put in that bucket? Will you choose to let the Holy Spirit bear fruit in you?
I want to celebrate you my friend! I also want to walk alongside you while you go through this season and keep this commitment! I will be offering a free two-week challenge that will run from December 1st through December 14th. It will be held in my Facebook group. It won’t have diet plans or exercise routines. No, this challenge will focus on your mindset and keeping the commitments you make to yourself.
Ready for that? Great! If you want to be a part of this challenge, ask to join my Busy Christian Mom Support group. In there, I will have all the details to help you prepare for the challenge.
And if you’re thinking, “Yay, right. I don’t have time for another thing to worry about during this time of year…” don’t worry! I’m right there with you. The posts will be short and the time it will take to be part of the challenge will be limited.
If I still didn’t convince you… think about your future self. Will your future self be better off for doing it?
I think so…
Do want even more individualized help and support? GREAT! Sign up for a free consult with me by clicking here.